Life is crazy that way. People come and go; good and bad. Cities and moves all blend together. Friends near and far become all mixed in a swirl of posts on Facebook and it is hard to keep track of who you really know and who you don't. You wonder why are you friends with that guy from High School you had such a crush on back then and he made your life miserable cause he didn't like you back. You think about where you are now and wonder, how did I get here?? Why am I doing the things I am doings? Is this really me? Or do I need to get back to being me? I think at times, we lose sight of the real us; get caught up in that whirlwind that can send you in so many directions you don't resemble yourself anymore.  I miss my photography; it was such a beautiful thing to me; me and my camera. I miss writing until all hours of the night; just after my divorce. I miss reading constantly, anything and everything I could get my hands on. And I miss singing; loudly anywhere and everywhere. Somehow I fell into this rut; a deep one that is beginning to look like I may not get out of unless I make some changes in life. 

I remember years ago; the same year my only real best friend and only sibling passed away; I was mediating (I miss that too!). Christopher came to me and told me "Jen, get back to the basics.". I did not really know what that meant at the time but I did what I could to simplify my life. Now I think he meant, go back to being you, don't let someone else dictate who you are or what you want to do. This is hard for me, though. I grew up thinking that I HAD to get married, have kids and had to have that traditional family life. You know, "keeping up with the Jones's" type of life. I did eventually get divorced and life has been even more of whirlwind since! I will admit, it has been a FUN ride! Dating boys, YES, boys 15 to 20 years my junior, then finally realizing while it was great fun, it would not last and it was not really what I wanted. So I moved on to men but I will save that story for another time.

So, I guess to sum it all up cause I really want a beer and to sing right now. I am hopeful to get back to daily writing, singing, mediating, gym session, and reading. Oh and my most favorite, my photography. That reminds me, Emily Mecus, I want my camera back! :)