Well, here it is another Monday, rainy and blah. These past few months for me have been a bit crazy, fun and yet insightful. As I look back, reflecting on incidents, experiences and relationships, I find that finding myself was a bit harder than it seemed. I mean, Alex was the beginning of the storm; coming into my life at a time when I was most vulnerable and pushing me to go beyond the limits of my comfort zone. Alex was fun and interesting but young and immature; so was I. Beyond Alex was a number of young but increasingly more mature guys. Each time I learned more about who I was, what I wanted and what I had missed when I was in my twenty's. My first impression was wow, I missed a lot but then it got old fast.The other guys I had gone out with, looked at me just like that Katy Perry song; I was their "teenage dream". Never in my life did I think that would happen, but it did. I mean, high school sucked, I was no one's dream; I was a nerd and definitely not beautiful. It's actually kinda funny though, I look back a photos and say ouch, did I really look like that and look at photos of the gals I envied, remembering how much I wanted to be like them. Then I go to today's photos and am struck by the reversal of roles. Now I am the one guys run after and for the others, let's just say the years made their mark. Life is funny like that. Anyway, I am not here to knock anyone, just speak what is on my mind and try to make sense of life.
As enjoyable as the latest ride in life has been, I find myself sitting here, thinking about my life, a really nice guy that I have just started to date (Brian) and realize, I am 38 years old! Not 20 something! It's like that door has now closed, and a new chapter has begun. I found who I am and that's a woman who has a younger attitude about life but wants the stability and comfort of being an adult with a good job and great kids. Not that I cannot have fun, but the bar scene is over rated, younger guys are not ready for relationships and when you meet someone who tends to think a bit more like you AND is your own age you can settle back down a bit and enjoy life more deeply, getting more out of life than ever before.
So, hi ho hi ho, it's off to work I go. Thank you Brian for just being you; you have put a smile on my face. I look forward to our continued friendship/relationship (which ever direction it goes in).
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